Saturday, April 2, 2011

News sinking in

I really thought I'd get a bfp this morning. First time I ever thought that. Myself a DH went on a two hike this afternoon just to clear our heads. We decided that I'll arrange a phone consult with our doctor this week. I really feel that the transfer was a little too late in the cycle so I want to investigate this further. I would also like to start straight into another FET cycle- as in start bcp's when AF arrives this week. However I think the clinic generally make patients wait a month. We'll see.
I've been crying on and off ALL day. DH is sooooo down in the dumps that it is literally breaking my heart seeing him like this. I'm trying to be positive and practical. IVF takes patience and perseverance. We have 6 blasts left to use. One of them has to work, we just need to keep pushing forward. To be honest if we get one baby out of this, I'll be content and that will be it. I always dreamt of having at least three kids, but this journey is too difficult. I don't want to spend the next ten years chasing another BFP.
I hope DH comes round a bit tomorrow....he's 100% entitled to feel how he feels and I wouldn't undermine that but I need him to be stronger and more positive.
Money is also a big issue....IVF has drained us financially (as well as emotionally).
I hope tomorrow brings renewed hope as I don't want to dwell on this bfn any further.

Anyway we picked up a McDonalds earlier to cheer us up...didn't work!!!

I came across a blog today were a girl had done an IVF cycle and about 3 FETs and finally the last one worked and she had beautiful twins as a result. It actually gave me an uplift.

Tomorrow is mother's day here in Ireland. Urrrrrgh!! I do have an amazing mother though who has been an amazing support through all our IF struggles. I know her heart is breaking for me today....that hurts me more than the bfn. Knowing that the people I care most about are hurting, kills me.

Anyway to anyone reading my blog, please leave a positive comment about IVF! We can inspire each other!!


  1. I know you probably don't want to hear from the girl who got a positive beta today, but just know I was eager to jump onto your blog to read your news. I wish I was celebrating with you, but know that I am grieving for you. Plus, you have 6 more shots at this!!! That's amazing. This was it for me, so I'm so happy and grateful for the results. I'll continue praying for you and I hope you don't have to wait a month to jump into your next FET cycle.

  2. Sorry to hear about your BFN... I'm with you on having had a failed IVF cycle and worrying that I would have to wait a month - but my FS told me a few days ago that we could go ahead with all the monitoring (ultrasound / bloods) to see whether my body is ready and if so, the FET cycle would have the same success as waiting a month. The waiting gets to me too. Sorry to hear that you have to bear all of this over mother's day... I also wanted 3 kids and may ultimately be happy with just one miracle child. All my thoughts are with you xoxo

  3. Sorry to hear but please stay positive..god/universe would have never given these medical doctors the gift to be able to create and deal with IVF if it did not work...your time will come and yes with the next one

  4. So sorry..thinking of you. I was just thinking the same thing this I always wanted 3 or 4 children. Now, I hope and pray that God blesses me with at least one. Hang in there hon.

  5. I'm so terribly sorry to hear this. I've been checking in on you everyday and was really really hoping this was going to be it for you. I hope you'll be able to move on to another FET cycle and this one will be the one for you!! Thinking of you and your husband.....

  6. I'm really sorry about the BFN - take care of yourself. But, as you're asking for uplifting IVF comments: after 6 failed IUIs, IVF#1 worked and I'm now the proud mommy of an amazing toddler. We're currently trying for #2 - going for FET#1 (IVF#2 failed) this month.