Sunday, October 30, 2011


I get my program in the gym today!! Bring on the hot bod!!! Hee hee

I had my assessment on Thursday and I was pleased to find out that I actually had not put on much extra weight over the past few months. I'm 9 stone 7 (think that's 133lbs) and I'm 5 foot 7 inches. BUT.....I'm flabby, seriously flabby. So the trainer reckons I should mostly do free weights and some cardio 3 times a week, no more than 40 minutes (phew, that's enough gym time for me). I will also try and do a class a week.

I'm meeting my counsellor on Wednesday evening. By this stage I will have spoken to my RE about trying naturally for a good few months. I'm hoping the counsellor can give me some tips on how to ACTUALLY switch off!

We put the clocks back an hour over here...nice to have an extra hour in bed!!

Thursday, October 27, 2011


Thanks for all the lovely comments and support. It's crappy but life goes on eh?
So heres my next plan :

1. I'm not gonna do another FET this side of Xmas. I want to enjoy Christmas with my family and friends.

2. I have just joined a 6 week program in my local gym. Aim: to lose 10 lbs and tone up: I wanna look fabulous for the Christmas party in work and generally feel good about my body again.

3. I have arranged a phone consultation with my RE for Tuesday. I'm gonna explain to her that we are taking a good break, maybe 4 to 6 months off. But since immune problems have been identified, I would like a prescription for the immune drugs (steroids), also aspirin, high strength folic acid, metformin, eltroxin (for thyroid) and possibly the clexane. Even though I have PCO, I do ovulate every month and DH has a good sperm count but slightly below motility & morphology. So in theory we should still have a chance to conceive naturally with this extra support.

4. My aim is to enjoy sex again like the good old days pre-TTC. Obviously around ovulation time, we'll go the extra mile so to speak.

5. I'm not gonna have a breakdown every time AF arrives, I'll be expecting it each month.

6. On a side note: since May 2010, I've either been on bcp, stims, down regulating, pregnant, miscarrying, on HRT, body is telling me ENOUGH for now....ENOUGH. IVF is a long hard road and I've reached the end for now. Time to recuperate and regain strength.

I'll keep on blogging, following all your stories but with less intensity. I think I need to just refocus on other things for a while. DH and I just shared our three year anniversary on Tuesday and you know what? Every month since we got married we have been focused on TTC.

Time for a break, me thinks!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Sunday, October 23, 2011


Very heavy feeling in uterus, can be crampy at times - even though I'm still on all the anti- cramp meds. Roller coaster of emotions. Majorly comfort eating...sweets, chocs, cakes u name it!
Kinda looking forward to work tomorrow to just keep busy. Thinking of testing on Thursday but what if it's a bfn? Will I be able to face work on Friday? The kids are all dressing up for Halloween in school that day....maybe i could wear a mask and cry behind it all day!!!

Saturday, October 22, 2011


Very low mood today. Convinced it hasn't worked. Still got very heavy pre-periody feeling in uterus. Not quite cramps but feel like it's going that way....urrrgh I HATE the TWW.

I thought I could be relaxed and breezy...what happens, happens. But I just can't be, I care too much.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Bed rest is boring!!

Well today is my last day of bed rest....whoop! Back to work tomorrow which is great and will keep my mind busy.
I watched three films:
1. Something Borrowed.......boring
2. No Strings Attached.......awful, truly awful
3. Hall Pass....m'eh!

Symptoms wise, just a heavy feeling in uterus which had been there before the transfer so I'm guessing it's just the feeling of the lining building up. That's it!

I've been looking up a local gym online to get ready to join if this doesn't work out. I'm not being negative, just having a plan B!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011


Transfer went very smoothly yesterday. Again my fave doctor did the procedure. Both blasts survived the thaw. I took two Valium to help did the job.
I'm gonna spend the next 2 days lazin around my apt watching tv and eating! Not much else I can do!
Thanks for all the positive comments!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Transfer tomorrow.

All going well, this time tomorrow I'll be PUPO. Starting to get a tad nervous.

Myself and DH were chatting earlier and we were saying that it is just so hard to get any way excited. We really feel burnt out by the constant treatments. Have a feeling if this doesnt work, we will just forget about the whole thing. Never EVER thought we'd feel this way. DH said he feels broken by it all...but when u come to the end , you come to the end.

Anyway all I can do right now is hope for the best.
My plan B if it doesn't work is to instantly join a gym and get working out. I want to get my body in the best shape for Xmas.

Feeling a little crampy this evening, think stress is a factor. Hopefully the Valium for the transfer will keep me relaxed tomorrow.

Will update tomorrow.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011


Lining was at 11mm yesterday, so all good for transfer next week. I got my intralipids yest too. I've to start on the cyclogest tomorrow- hate that stuff!

Uterus is managing to stay relatively relaxed, think the meds are doing their job.

Stress-free week?? Not happening so far, so busy in work. Will try harder tomorrow!!

Sunday, October 9, 2011

1 week to go...

Until transfer. I'm back on all the meds for keeping the uterus relaxed. Yesterday I had started to feel a little crampy - meds seem to be working so far. Really not getting excited at all. Even if it does work, there is no guarantee of a baby - so it is just so hard to feel anything one way or the other.

Planning to stay as stress free as possible - gonna book in for a couple of massages, go to cinema, watch chill-out TV, listen to meditation over the next few weeks.

Hope everyone in blogworld is keeping well!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Pottering Along

Just a quick one.

Less than 2 weeks away to transfer. All going well so far, nothing to report. Staying neutral. Imaging the 2 possible outcomes.

Will update soon.