tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31065700574578549322024-03-20T05:37:29.115+00:00My Journey Through IVFFollow my journey to motherhood...it's not gonna be an easy ride, but let's make it fun together.Mrs BabyDreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15432050866625310297noreply@blogger.comBlogger139125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106570057457854932.post-14137780932778686202011-11-02T22:34:00.000+00:002011-11-02T22:34:18.964+00:00Break TimeWell as I've said in previous post, I'm taking a break from fertility treatment. I spoke with RE yesterday and she agreed to give me prescription for thyroid meds to keep that low and metformin, folic acid and aspirin. I met with my counsellor tonight and talked about the idea of taking a break. Part of that means I need to unplug myself from the blogworld that I have been a part of for nearly two years. Everyday I check my google reader and read the latest posts in the IF cyber world. In a way its like constantly talking to the other woman in waiting room of the fertility clinic...every day. In order to truly take a break, I need to just let all that go for a while. <br />
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So I'm saying goodbye for a while to all u lovely ladies in the blogosphere!! It will be like giving up an addiction!!!! But has to be done to give my head space and quieten my mind for a while. <br />
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Best of luck with all of your journeys, hopefully see you all in a few months :)Mrs BabyDreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15432050866625310297noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106570057457854932.post-6386829633120657202011-10-30T09:33:00.000+00:002011-10-30T09:33:40.398+00:00Gym!I get my program in the gym today!! Bring on the hot bod!!! Hee hee<br />
<br />
I had my assessment on Thursday and I was pleased to find out that I actually had not put on much extra weight over the past few months. I'm 9 stone 7 (think that's 133lbs) and I'm 5 foot 7 inches. BUT.....I'm flabby, seriously flabby. So the trainer reckons I should mostly do free weights and some cardio 3 times a week, no more than 40 minutes (phew, that's enough gym time for me). I will also try and do a class a week. <br />
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I'm meeting my counsellor on Wednesday evening. By this stage I will have spoken to my RE about trying naturally for a good few months. I'm hoping the counsellor can give me some tips on how to ACTUALLY switch off! <br />
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We put the clocks back an hour over here...nice to have an extra hour in bed!!Mrs BabyDreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15432050866625310297noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106570057457854932.post-75121958905816256132011-10-27T17:17:00.000+01:002011-10-27T17:17:52.812+01:00ThanksThanks for all the lovely comments and support. It's crappy but life goes on eh?<br />
So heres my next plan :<br />
<br />
1. I'm not gonna do another FET this side of Xmas. I want to enjoy Christmas with my family and friends.<br />
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2. I have just joined a 6 week program in my local gym. Aim: to lose 10 lbs and tone up: I wanna look fabulous for the Christmas party in work and generally feel good about my body again.<br />
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3. I have arranged a phone consultation with my RE for Tuesday. I'm gonna explain to her that we are taking a good break, maybe 4 to 6 months off. But since immune problems have been identified, I would like a prescription for the immune drugs (steroids), also aspirin, high strength folic acid, metformin, eltroxin (for thyroid) and possibly the clexane. Even though I have PCO, I do ovulate every month and DH has a good sperm count but slightly below motility & morphology. So in theory we should still have a chance to conceive naturally with this extra support.<br />
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4. My aim is to enjoy sex again like the good old days pre-TTC. Obviously around ovulation time, we'll go the extra mile so to speak. <br />
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5. I'm not gonna have a breakdown every time AF arrives, I'll be expecting it each month.<br />
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6. On a side note: since May 2010, I've either been on bcp, stims, down regulating, pregnant, miscarrying, on HRT, progesterone....my body is telling me ENOUGH for now....ENOUGH. IVF is a long hard road and I've reached the end for now. Time to recuperate and regain strength.<br />
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I'll keep on blogging, following all your stories but with less intensity. I think I need to just refocus on other things for a while. DH and I just shared our three year anniversary on Tuesday and you know what? Every month since we got married we have been focused on TTC.<br />
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Time for a break, me thinks!Mrs BabyDreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15432050866625310297noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106570057457854932.post-51518273132217039042011-10-26T19:12:00.002+01:002011-10-26T19:12:37.215+01:009dp5dtBFN....:(Mrs BabyDreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15432050866625310297noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106570057457854932.post-24829775037156977702011-10-23T16:58:00.000+01:002011-10-23T16:58:16.720+01:006dp5dtVery heavy feeling in uterus, can be crampy at times - even though I'm still on all the anti- cramp meds. Roller coaster of emotions. Majorly comfort eating...sweets, chocs, cakes u name it!<br />
Kinda looking forward to work tomorrow to just keep busy. Thinking of testing on Thursday but what if it's a bfn? Will I be able to face work on Friday? The kids are all dressing up for Halloween in school that day....maybe i could wear a mask and cry behind it all day!!!Mrs BabyDreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15432050866625310297noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106570057457854932.post-72994381655887140492011-10-22T12:26:00.000+01:002011-10-22T12:26:05.318+01:005dp5dtVery low mood today. Convinced it hasn't worked. Still got very heavy pre-periody feeling in uterus. Not quite cramps but feel like it's going that way....urrrgh I HATE the TWW.<br />
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I thought I could be relaxed and breezy...what happens, happens. But I just can't be, I care too much.Mrs BabyDreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15432050866625310297noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106570057457854932.post-79406395039477516472011-10-19T18:03:00.000+01:002011-10-19T18:03:23.688+01:00Bed rest is boring!!Well today is my last day of bed rest....whoop! Back to work tomorrow which is great and will keep my mind busy.<br />
I watched three films:<br />
1. Something Borrowed.......boring<br />
2. No Strings Attached.......awful, truly awful<br />
3. Hall Pass....m'eh!<br />
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Symptoms wise, just a heavy feeling in uterus which had been there before the transfer so I'm guessing it's just the feeling of the lining building up. That's it!<br />
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I've been looking up a local gym online to get ready to join if this doesn't work out. I'm not being negative, just having a plan B!Mrs BabyDreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15432050866625310297noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106570057457854932.post-87962304723142067112011-10-18T08:31:00.000+01:002011-10-18T08:31:52.054+01:00PUPO....againTransfer went very smoothly yesterday. Again my fave doctor did the procedure. Both blasts survived the thaw. I took two Valium to help relax...it did the job. <br />
I'm gonna spend the next 2 days lazin around my apt watching tv and eating! Not much else I can do!<br />
Thanks for all the positive comments!Mrs BabyDreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15432050866625310297noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106570057457854932.post-62308387831944723082011-10-16T20:49:00.000+01:002011-10-16T20:49:25.180+01:00Transfer tomorrow.All going well, this time tomorrow I'll be PUPO. Starting to get a tad nervous. <br />
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Myself and DH were chatting earlier and we were saying that it is just so hard to get any way excited. We really feel burnt out by the constant treatments. Have a feeling if this doesnt work, we will just forget about the whole thing. Never EVER thought we'd feel this way. DH said he feels broken by it all...but when u come to the end , you come to the end.<br />
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Anyway all I can do right now is hope for the best. <br />
My plan B if it doesn't work is to instantly join a gym and get working out. I want to get my body in the best shape for Xmas.<br />
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Feeling a little crampy this evening, think stress is a factor. Hopefully the Valium for the transfer will keep me relaxed tomorrow.<br />
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Will update tomorrow.Mrs BabyDreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15432050866625310297noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106570057457854932.post-37624734831122794132011-10-11T22:36:00.000+01:002011-10-11T22:36:09.017+01:00LiningLining was at 11mm yesterday, so all good for transfer next week. I got my intralipids yest too. I've to start on the cyclogest tomorrow- hate that stuff!<br />
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Uterus is managing to stay relatively relaxed, think the meds are doing their job. <br />
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Stress-free week?? Not happening so far, so busy in work. Will try harder tomorrow!!Mrs BabyDreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15432050866625310297noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106570057457854932.post-20524134978107652592011-10-09T16:52:00.000+01:002011-10-09T16:52:47.192+01:001 week to go...Until transfer. I'm back on all the meds for keeping the uterus relaxed. Yesterday I had started to feel a little crampy - meds seem to be working so far. Really not getting excited at all. Even if it does work, there is no guarantee of a baby - so it is just so hard to feel anything one way or the other.<br />
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Planning to stay as stress free as possible - gonna book in for a couple of massages, go to cinema, watch chill-out TV, listen to meditation over the next few weeks.<br />
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Hope everyone in blogworld is keeping well!Mrs BabyDreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15432050866625310297noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106570057457854932.post-31401695047442582332011-10-04T19:11:00.000+01:002011-10-04T19:11:09.424+01:00Pottering AlongJust a quick one.<br />
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Less than 2 weeks away to transfer. All going well so far, nothing to report. Staying neutral. Imaging the 2 possible outcomes.<br />
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Will update soon.Mrs BabyDreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15432050866625310297noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106570057457854932.post-47455884461883142422011-09-24T14:14:00.000+01:002011-09-24T14:14:19.582+01:00What A Week!!On Monday I received a call from my GP (not my usual one, but a locum), who said she had received the results of the pathology test from my miscarriage. She said she was very concerned and that I should not be getting pregnant for 6 months. She said I have <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gestational_trophoblastic_disease">Gestational Throphoblastic Disease</a>. I was kind of shocked. She told me to look it up on a medical website and that she would call me back as she wanted to get in touch with the doctor who did my D&C for further clarification. I looked it up, and it basically said it was a molar pregnancy. This did not make any sense to me as I had had normal ultrasounds with heartbeat and fetus.I was shocked to say the least.<br />
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I rang my consultant in the fertility clinic immediately who asked me to get the report faxed over to her. I also booked in for a HCG the following morning. (with a Molar pregnancy, HCG must be monitored and remain at zero for 6 months). The GP rang me back to say that she spoke with the doc who did the D&C and she said the results only <u>suggested </u>that it could be molar.<br />
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In the meantime, my consultant looked at the report and said no, it was normal, nothing to indicate molar. On Tuesday my HCG measured zero like I expected.<br />
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Anyway to cut a long story short, the GP was still not happy and wanted to refer me to the National Maternity Hospital for monitoring, and wanted it to be still treated as if it were molar. She said she would try to get in touch with the person who actually wrote the report and she'd call me back. So there I was on Friday lying on my couch, off work, sick with the flu, when my phone rings. It's my GP who says she spoke to the person who did the report and.......drumroll.....its's completely normal! No need to worry, not molar at all.<br />
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When I say a weight was lifted off my shoulders, that was an understatement!!! Such a relief and such unnecessary worry!Mrs BabyDreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15432050866625310297noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106570057457854932.post-73858613664713639422011-09-17T15:51:00.000+01:002011-09-17T15:51:20.559+01:00DatesWell I have all my dates arranged for upcoming FET. The transfer will take place on the 17th of October. A month away - here we go again!!<br />
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The nurse in the clinic asked me to get my <a href="http://www.drmalpani.com/thyroid.htm">TSH levels</a> checked. Mine was 3.97. Apparently this is in the normal range of thyroid function but for pregnancy, the clinic would like it to be closer to 2. So I am on Eltroxin to lower the levels. Could this be the reason for my miscarriage or the reason why we haven't conceived naturally? Who knows.<br />
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How am I feeling? Usual feelings of nervousness/hope/fear. Very detached really. I don't want to talk about it in real life because I've done this before, I've talked about the upcoming dates, treatment, every detail and always it has ended in heartbreak. However I know this one could work out if it works but still I've lost my innocence in this area.<br />
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When I went to the clinic last Monday morning for my TSH blood test, for some reason the nurses never called me. Time was ticking by, I was late for work, other clients were coming and going and yet no one was calling me for my blood test. I don't know what happened to me, but I started to get really upset---like fighting back the tears, a lump in my throat. I couldn't summon up the courage to ask the nurses when they were going to call me. I wanted to storm out, but I couldn't. Eventually after a self pep-talk, I decided to walk out. However, as I walked by the nurses' station, I saw two nurses sitting down. I said "sorry but I've been waiting for someone to call me for a blood test for an hour". One of them jumped up, all apologetic and took me in to another room to do the blood test. By this stage I could not even talk, just trying to not cry. Nightmare. Seriously what was up with that??? I think all the emotion of the past few months and tied into the clinic, sitting in the waiting room was just too much. Anyway...I felt better later on.<br />
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Will update again soon. :)Mrs BabyDreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15432050866625310297noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106570057457854932.post-33103434877535116742011-09-03T15:48:00.002+01:002011-09-03T15:48:49.862+01:00First week down!Well my first week back to work wasn't too bad at all. My colleagues were so supportive and had lovely, encouraging stories to share with me regarding their own experiences with miscarriage. It felt good to be back at work, and to be busy and focus on something other that TTC.<br />
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I have a feeling my AF is gonna start soon - quite crampy at the mo. When it does arrive, I can start on BCP and then sort out dates with the clinic for upcoming FET. A part of me feels guilty to start BCP - it just feels so wrong - weird I know.<br />
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Really trying to remain positive. There is every chance it will work. But I suppose I really have to think about how I'll feel or what I will do if it doesn't work. Scary.Mrs BabyDreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15432050866625310297noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106570057457854932.post-26788865085880831692011-08-28T14:42:00.000+01:002011-08-28T14:42:45.087+01:00Back to work!Not much going on at the moment. I am back to work tomorrow after 2 months off!! (Perks of being a teacher).<br />
For the past week or so I have been getting AF pains - sometimes very strong. Still no sign of AF. The sooner it comes, the sooner I can start on BCP in preparation for upcoming FET.<br />
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I have also been eating very well this past week - really want to drop 7 pounds. I "attempted" some exercise last week. I did some running in the local park. I literally could not do any other exercise for the rest of the week as I had strained my thighs!! Anyway I hope to get back walking next week. Much prefer that to running.<br />
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I must not lose sight of what I have learned this past month. Mainly that myself and DH need to invest in each other. I am thinking of organising a weekend away soon - possibly to Edinburgh in Scotland. Also I want to do the things that make me happy - meeting up with friends, watching funny movies, getting out and about, having a facial/massage etc.<br />
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That's all from me at to mo!Mrs BabyDreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15432050866625310297noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106570057457854932.post-18358171904693129072011-08-20T15:15:00.000+01:002011-08-20T15:15:21.742+01:00Decision Made!Myself and DH went out for an impromptu dinner last night. It was lovely, we had a great old chat. I told him that I have been feeling like I am leaning towards doing a FET as soon as possible. He agreed and we said "right decision made". Really happy with it. We had a few drinks -feeling worse for wear today but it was worth it!!<br />
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Mrs BabyDreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15432050866625310297noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106570057457854932.post-56804909369072020412011-08-19T10:56:00.000+01:002011-08-19T10:56:23.413+01:00Couch to 5K?Anybody hear of this before? Basically it's a guide to help you run 5k without stopping. It requires a commitment of 30 mins three times a week. It starts off with a combination of running and walking and over the course of about 8 weeks, it builds you up to run 5k non-stop. I'm gonna start this tomorrow. Hubby has the car today and I want to drive up to the local park to start rather than just running out on the street.<br />
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TTC - I'm leaning towards starting FET as soon as possible...yet no decisions made yet.Mrs BabyDreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15432050866625310297noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106570057457854932.post-15339262724945182542011-08-17T14:18:00.000+01:002011-08-17T14:18:31.657+01:00RE Follow-upWell, I met with my RE on Monday. She was so lovely and caring, very compassionate. Anyway she answered my questions as best she could. But she had no real answers as to what happened. She said 60% of miscarriages are due to chromosomal abnormalities. She said there may or may not have been a connection between the blighted ovum and the missed miscarriage. She said that the next time around, I would get more scans and monitoring - she said there is research to say that TLC can help with a positive outcome.<br />
I asked how soon can I do a FET? She said I can start on pill with next period and do the FET the following month.<br />
<br />
So I am pleased that I can go ahead with treatment if we want to. We still have not made ANY decisions regarding this. I'm really unsure of what to do. Taking a break is an option but I don't know how I would feel not having a plan. So much of the infertility business is out of our control that if I can control something about it, I want to. If we take a break and in October I want to start treatment again - it gets us dangerously close to Christmas. Think I would like to start sooner. Anyway, no decisions made :)<br />
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I booked in for a hot stone full body massage for tomorrow! Wuhoo. Then am meeting friends for lunch! Lovely!Mrs BabyDreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15432050866625310297noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106570057457854932.post-4029132990205911302011-08-09T20:39:00.000+01:002011-08-09T20:39:51.952+01:00Moving on.Tomorrow, myself and DH will head away for a few days break. We are meeting some great friends in a four star hotel - so can't wait.<br />
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How am I feeling? - Don't feel like crying at all which is great. Feeling a lot stronger. I'm in a kinda "live for the moment" type of mind which is great. I have 3 weeks until I go back to work and I want to pack as much in as I can.<br />
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I have a lot more energy back. When I was pregnant, I had ZERO energy - tiredness like I had never known!<br />
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Anyway I'll post again when I get back from my few days away - hopefully I'll have more thoughts of plans for the future when I get back.<br />
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Mrs BabyDreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15432050866625310297noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106570057457854932.post-83802859571817031112011-08-08T12:48:00.000+01:002011-08-08T12:48:29.752+01:00To break or not to break...That is the question.<br />
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So I am feeling MUCH better. I still have that deflated, life's a bit shit type of feeling but on the whole I'm feeling better. I think the key to starting to heal after a miscarriage is to talk, talk and talk more about it. I have talked indeptly to all my close friends, a counsellor, online forums, my husband, my mother and even to people who don't know me too well. It has really helped. I have also cried, cried and....cried some more. So by last Friday, I just didn't feel like crying anymore. I also kept a balance of being with people who care for me AND being on my own. If I had of kept too busy, I wouldn't have faced my demons and worked through my emotions. If I had of isolated myself and stayed on my own, I wouldn't have been able to make sense of what happened - talking helps the mind stay sane (I think).<br />
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This week, myself and DH are going away for a few nights with friends to a lovely country hotel by the sea, so looking forward to that.<br />
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Now this thing about the "break". DH and I have been talking a lot about the future, the immediate future ( the next few months). We said we will make no decisions this month. One of our options is to take a complete break from fertility treatment until January. So that we can enjoy the next few months and the run up to Christmas. (remember last Xmas was ruined due to blighted ovum). But the thing is, i do ovulate every month, and DH's sperm is not that bad (good count but lower than average motility and morph) but we NEVER managed to do it on our own. My question is: would we be really taking a break if at the back of our minds we are still hoping it might happen naturally?? The only way to truely take a break would be to use contraception....and that is NOT gonna happen!!!!<br />
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So I have no answers or decisions made at the moment. I'm going to see the counsellor again this week so might work through a few issues with her first.Mrs BabyDreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15432050866625310297noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106570057457854932.post-12548200395190606492011-08-05T23:25:00.001+01:002011-08-06T00:25:18.159+01:00Better DayYesterday was a tough day - I spent the morning crying, and I met with the counsellor at 2pm. She was very good - I cried a lot and we talked about the pressure I have been putting myself under to have a baby since we got married (3 yrs in Oct). Subconsciously, I hold a belief that I am a failure because I haven't had a baby. I didn't think I actually thought that about myself, but through talking to her, this came out. So the session was very heavy. It felt like I was in there for 10 minutes but I was an hour. I walked out in an absolute daze and had a MAJOR headache. I drove over to my 3 friends from work as I had planned to meet them after the session. I totally broke down (as usual) when I saw them, but then I was fine. We talked a bit about the miscarriage and then we talked about other unrelated things, even had a laugh. When I got home, I spoke to another good friend on the phone and then my mother. DH played football, and when he got in, I talked some more with him! By the end of the day, I was wrecked.<br />
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Well today was a better day. I haven't cried today. I spent the morning in bed watching reality TV. Then DH came home from work at lunchtime. We had a lovely afternoon/evening together. I made sure to really look after him today - making lunch, cups of tea, lots of TLC. He had been so amazing to me since the horrible news last week, that he needed to be looked after today. He finally let himself go and he was exhausted, the week finally caught up with him. He was in bed by 9pm!! I think the counselling and all the emotions yesterday really helped. I obviously don't feel great but do feel a bit better.<br />
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Tomorrow night, we have a party to attend. Nothing too hectic, should be a laugh so I am looking forward to that. I plan to spend some quality time with DH tomorrow - want to just enjoy us being together.<br />
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Anyway thanks to everyone who has left a comment. It is amazing what a few words from ladies who know the pain of infertility can help. Thank you :)Mrs BabyDreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15432050866625310297noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106570057457854932.post-26126031797461726032011-08-03T20:59:00.001+01:002011-08-03T21:00:21.052+01:00EmotionalEvery time I meet with a friend or talk to a friend on the phone, I just break down. After a few minutes, I start to feel a little better.<br />
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Yesterday I spent the whole day on my own and basically cried all day. When DH came home, I started to feel better.<br />
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Today I met my best friend. Initially I again broke down, but then we talked. We talked about the next coming few months. She thinks we should take time out, plan nice things to do, enjoy being married. On one hand I'd love to do that but on the other, I think I'd like to keep moving. We have 4 frozen embryos left and could push forward with another FET.<br />
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Anyway we are not going to make any decisions just yet, but it's nice to explore options.<br />
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Tomorrow I am going to meet with a counsellor. She works in the fertility clinic so is an expert in that area. I would like to work on why I put myself under so much pressure. Like I feel a sense of panic to have a baby. I am 30, so I have time I suppose, but I really thought I'd be having my second child by now. I'm also dreading more pregnancy announcements...dreading them.<br />
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I'm also meeting three work pals tomorrow so hopefully will be a good distraction.<br />
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Sigh....Mrs BabyDreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15432050866625310297noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106570057457854932.post-38847227373138748372011-08-02T09:57:00.003+01:002011-08-02T10:04:19.774+01:00My days so farIts been 4 days since D&C. Just thought I'd share how the days have gone so far:<br />
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Thurs: found out baby had died at 12 wk scan. Mainly shock, crying.<br />
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Fri: D&C. Spent day is hospital. Not really crying.<br />
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Sat: morning a few tears. My mum called over, more tears but could talk and be logical, talked about future a bit. That evening, uncontrollable crying/sobbing.<br />
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Sun: bad morning, crying. Old friend called over, some tears, talked about it, she made me laugh. Didn't really cry rest of evening. DH was very quiet, brooding. This killed me. Sobbed before I went to sleep.<br />
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Mon: DH gone to work. Some tears in morning. Met friend again, talked. Called into my parents, some tears. Back home to DH. We talked a lot. Wrote down questions for our RE about what happened. Talked about either going again (we have 4 frozen embryos left to transfer) or taking a complete break until after Xmas. Made no decisions, just talked. We downloaded first 4 episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm, new series- laughed watching them. Had little cry before bed.<br />
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Tues: here I am, alone. I booked appointment with re to discuss what happened. Also waiting on a counsellor to call to make an appointment. I feel like crying but can't. Don't know what to do todayMrs BabyDreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15432050866625310297noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106570057457854932.post-34187696654103891402011-08-01T08:27:00.000+01:002011-08-01T08:27:18.667+01:00RealityEvery time I wake up, reality hits me like a smack in the face. So painful.<br />
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Why did this happen to me? Did I not have my fair share of heart ache already...it think so.<br />
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Who's to say it won't happen again?Mrs BabyDreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15432050866625310297noreply@blogger.com5