7dp5dt

I got a really good night's sleep last night - totally needed as I was pure exhausted. Work was hectic and I went to clinic for intralipids after work. Cramps were pretty intense all day. Really really feel it hasn't worked. I have been wrong before but....
All my stats throughtout the cycle have been spot on - so my head is telling me it should work. The cramps/period feelings tell me otherwise.:(

We'll see....

6dp5dt

Having a horrible day today :( I literally did not sleep a wink last night - I just lay awake tossing and turning all night. I got up at 1am and did a sneaky cheapie hpt - BFN. Prob too early anyway. I've been having really bad periods pains all night and today. I'm just convinced it has not worked. I know I felt like this last time and it did work but feel so defeated. Definitely not gonna do anymore sneaky tests. I'm just gonna buy a First Response and do that on Saturday. I will definitely know by then. I came home early from work to try and sleep - I got 2 hours. I have 2 very busy days in work tomorrow and Friday so hopefully I'll just plod along until Saturday.

5dp5dt

Woke up with quite bad cramps this morning. Felt very down. Still crampy, no sign of spotting which is good. Lower back very sore. This really could go either way. 2ww really is horrible. Looking forward to getting intralipids on Thursday as I'll feel like I'm doing something proactive. This is hard.....

4dp5dt

Not much going on today. Not really crampy anymore just VERY bloated. Totally exhausted after work today, just nipped to the shop to get some food in for dinner and now restng up on couch.
I hope to get to bed early tonight. Might post later :)

3dp5dt

Woke up with more cramps this morning, feels like AF is about to start. I keep willing my embies to hang on in there, it's all I can do. Doesn't help that I ate a whole punnet of grapes yesterday so feel extra bloated today!!!!

Will post again later.

2dp5dt

Well it's been two days since the transfer. I am still resting up in bed. Still feeling crampy but more of a heaviness now. Don't really think the Salbutomal made any difference to be honest. My lower back is killing me, maybe from lying in bed too long. I'm a nervous wreck everytime I need to use the loo for fear of seeing blood. I'm gonna go to my mam's for dinner later and hopefully have an early night tonight. Tomorrow I'm gonna go to to the cinema with DH - I want to see that film "Limitless". Then I really do have a busy week in work. I'm a teacher by he way! Which means I finish work at 2.40pm - which is usually great but means I have more time to kill on the 2ww!!

Thursday I am booked in for my second round of intralipids. One of my best friends just had her first baby there last Monday. So I plan on spending an evening with her this week too.

Hopefully it'll fly in!!!!!!!

Salbutomal

Well DH picked up my Salbutomal a few moments ago. It's also known as ventolin- used to treat asthma. Apparently it relaxes the uterus. Fingers crossed as I could really do without these cramps! Hopefully it'll kick in soon. Will update later.

PUPO!

Officially PUPO now! The transfer was over in 5 mins, super quick. I explained about the cramps, they were happy to go ahead. The doc prescribed me Sabutomal to ease the cramps. Unfortunately the chemist didn't have it but ordered it in for the morning. DH is gonna pick it up in the morn. Cramps are pretty bad right now so finding it hard to relax.

Transfer Day!

Just a quick one - will post again later. Yesterday I cleaned our apt in prep for bed rest!
I had my first slice of pineapple this morning- gonna have a slice each day for five days to help implantation.

Cramps- still VERY crampy and bloated which is really unsettling. I suppose I just have to trust my clinic as they were very happy at last scan on Tuesday. But seriously why the cramps?

Embryos - the embryologist called at 9.30am to say that she would be thawing 2 embryos. She said they have a free slot at 3pm if I wanted to a take that. I said YES. The sooner the better I say! Just want those little guys back on board. So we have to be at clinic for 2.30pm.

I'm still lounging in bed. Gonna get up shortly- I want to have a bath and do a bit of grooming!!

I also have some Valium lined up to take before the transfer, hopefully that'll relax the uterus as well as relaxing me!

Ok this post was longer than expected! Will post later when I'm PUPO!

Assessment Scan

I went in for a scan this morning to recheck things as I've been feeling very crampy. All went well, lining was measuring 12.3 (triple lining)and ovaries were quiet. The nurse (my favourite nurse!) said she was extremely pleased with what she saw. She didn't know but thought my body could be sensitive to the thick lining. So all systems go for Thursday...thank god.

A question for fellow long time ttc-ers: do u have faith in God throughout this long arduous process?? My mother in law was telling me to pray to St. Anne (Mary's mother) as apparently she had longed for a child for a very long time. I dunno about all that stuff anymore though...

Clinic

Well I phoned the clinic today to explain to them about the cramps. The nurse said that it really is nothing to worry about as the scan on Wednesday showed no follicle growth and good lining. Anyway I felt reassured for about an hour!! So I rang the clinic again after work and asked for another scan in tomorrow morning as I felt the cramps were getting worse. So I'm scheduled for an assessment scan for tomorrow at 8.20am. I just don't want to do the transfer if something is going wrong...for emotional and financial reasons! Anyway I am hoping that the scan will show everything looking good and things can go ahead on Thursday as planned. I just want to feel like I put everything into the cycle.

My theory on the cramps is this: when my lining reaches a certain thickness I begin to feel it. I've always felt crampy a good week sometimes more before af arrives as I usually ovulate quite late as in cd20/21.

The 2WW is hard enough...I really wasn't expecting to be this stressed out BEFORE the transfer.....ahhhhhhhh!

Nervous

Well I have 4 days to go until the transfer and since Friday I've been having cramps - light ones but constantly there. I've everything right so just cannot understand this cramping. I wonder could it be to do the the thickening of the lining?? I'm just so afraid that I may have missed the window or something. Everything looked great at last scan on wednesday, so it's not as if I've ovulated. Oh well I'll give the clinic a call in the morning. Hopefully it's nothing to worry about...but I need reassurance.

Scan 3

Well I had my final scan this morning. All went well- my lining was 11.4. I've to stop nasal spray tomorrow and continue all meds and start cyclogest (progesterone) on Sunday. Transfer booked in for 4 o clock on thursday 24th.

On another note, my friend had her 2nd baby today. As another blogger said "she lapped me".
When she had her first baby, we were about 6 months into TTC at the time. Her:2 me:0. I'm happy for her but it's so hard sometimes.

Oh well have to stay positive....

Intralipids

Well I had my intralipids infusion today. Just took little over an hour which was great. The first time I had this it took three hours..ahhhh. Thus will help to suppress my immune system so as to make my uterus extra embryo friendly for next week. Just one more day in work and then I have St Patrick's Day and Friday off...yay! Before I know it...transfer week!

Excited, scared, anxious....hopeful!

Down

Dunno why but I'm feeling really down today. Just keep thinking of everyone else who's pregnant or just had a baby. Think I'm getting scared as transfer approaches...the thought of it not working :(

Also I've totally piled on weight these past few months - can't seem to get a handle on it.

Ahhhh...I'll cheer up tomorrow

Eeeeesh!

Lots of EWCM at the mo - really can't remember if same thing happened last FET. Still on the nasal spray (down regulation) so defo not ovulating.

I woke up super early this morning- so annoying as I really wanted to have lie in today. I have a three day week ahead in work- we have St Patrick's Day (thurs) and Friday off this week. And then next week I've booked thurs and fri off for transfer. Whoop!

Scan 2

Just a quick one. Scan went well this morning; lining looked good. Next appointment is Tuesday for intralipids. Feeling very under the weather the past few days , everyone seems to be sniffling and spluttering all over the place!!

Pancake Tuesday!!!

One of my favourite days of the year. I had 6 pancakes with sugar and lemon today....yum! Our pancakes are crepes...so beautiful. Lent starts tomorrow...hope I can survive without tea. I bought lots of fresh lemons so gonna drink lots of ot water with a slice of lemon. I'm ot a major fan of herbal teas so not gonna bother with them.

My next appointment with clinic is this Friday. Just a scan to make sure lining is developing well and to check if ovaries are quiet. Then next Tuesday, I'll be getting intralipids again, (this is to suppress the immune system )

Energy levels still high!

Energy!!

Wow I've so much energy since starting on the steroids on Friday. Since Friday, I've got so much done - sorting out our back room which had become a bit of a junk room, getting through all the ironing ( hate that), and a general spring cleaning. Our apt is gleaming right now!

I never noticed the difference in energy last time - maybe because I was up to my eyes in work and was run off my feet. I think it helps that Spring is in the air too and the evenings are much brighter lately.

Oh god, I really am so scared thinking that this FET might not work or even worse the same thing happen as last time. I try not to give it any thought one way or the other but every so often, it creeps in, I try to brush it away but it's so hard.

Anyway tomorrow will be pancake Tuesday and I can't wait, I LOVE pancakes!!!!

I'm gonna give up drinking tea for Lent...it's gonna be tough. My clinic advises against drinking caffiene after transfer so I may as well give it up now in time for the transfer.

Scan 1

Well I had first scan of the cycle today. All went well - ovaries are nice and quiet and lining is thin. So I start all meds today : steroids, clexane injections, folic acid, B vits, Estrafem, and aspirin.

Next scan will be next Friday!!