First Day Back To Work

I was dreading going back to work after the Xmas break. Felt like the loneliest soul in the world getting up this morning. It wasn't too bad initially. But by 11am I was a mess - way too emotional. My boss and my good friend were AMAZING - so supportive and understanding. I came home at 12.00. Met DH and had some lunch and then snoozed in bed all afternoon. I know 2moro will be much better - it was just the first day back was difficult. Last time I had been in work, I was pregnant :(

On to more productive things:

I rang my clinic today to arrange a phone consultation with my consultant. She is going to call me on Wednesday afternoon. I must compile a list of questions. I really wanna get started on the next FET.

Confirmation

Well on Wednesday I went for my scan and as expected, a definite miscarriage. Doc reckoned I passed the pregnancy sac on Monday night with the pain. Got to say, It really hit me all over again. Tough day.

On Thursday, my amazing DH took me away to a 5 star hotel for 2 nights to just chill. Nice food, nice wine...space.

Today is Saturday and I'm feeling A LOT better. Actually looking forward to next FET.

Bleeding is starting to tail off, finally. Gonna phone my RE during the week to discuss next FET. The doc that scanned me was saying it was a blighted ovum. And another doc in the clinic said to me that every 3rd pregnancy they see ends in miscarriage. That actually made me feel less abnormal!! Weird!!

Bad News

I haven't written here in a while.

On Xmas Eve I had a very heavy bleed - passed lots of clots. My clinic was closed for the Christmas break and I just knew there was no point sitting in A&E on Christmas Eve. I spent all of Christmas day crying. I eventually got to my clinic on the 29th of Dec. The Doctor found a pregnancy sac measuring 5 weeks 4 days. He said it was too early to see anything and to come back in one week. In the meantime I continued medication and I was bleeding slightly on and off.

So tomorrow I am going in for the scan. But I know it is over. Last night I had the worst AF Pain EVER and I passed 3 MAJOR clots (actually very relieving). So I just want to get closure tomorrow and draw a line and move on.

I'm feeling a lot stronger than I was last week - I was in absolute shock and literally was grief-stricken. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. And Christmas has to be the worst time of the year for something like this to happen.

5 Weeks 3 days

Still quite crampy but just accepting it as normal stretching! No sign of bleeding which is reassuring. Keeping the feet up as much as possible!

Nerves

This waiting for 7 week scan is a killer - nearly as bad as the 2ww.

2 nights ago I have a little brown spotting - freaked me out!! That is gone now.

The past two days I've been having light crampiness -not painful just dull - again freaking me out!

Did another internet cheapie this after noon - the test line is so much darker than the control. Just puts my mid at ease a tiny bit.

Resting up now - literally doing nothing!

Getting stronger!

4w 4days

Still can't quite believe it! The Cramps started easing on Tuesday now they are completely gone. I still can't get over how exactly they were like AF pains - same severe intensity.

My clinic doesn't do betas unless there is something to worry about. I'm booked in for 7 week scan in January - can't wait for that but I'll be nervous about it. Lines are continuing to get darker on my internet cheapie tests.

On Tuesday I'm gonna do another digi - I'm hoping it will show 3+

No symptoms at this point - feel totally normal. I keep waking up MAD early - more with excitement than anything else.

Will update on Tuesday.