5 Weeks 3 days

Still quite crampy but just accepting it as normal stretching! No sign of bleeding which is reassuring. Keeping the feet up as much as possible!

Nerves

This waiting for 7 week scan is a killer - nearly as bad as the 2ww.

2 nights ago I have a little brown spotting - freaked me out!! That is gone now.

The past two days I've been having light crampiness -not painful just dull - again freaking me out!

Did another internet cheapie this after noon - the test line is so much darker than the control. Just puts my mid at ease a tiny bit.

Resting up now - literally doing nothing!

Getting stronger!

4w 4days

Still can't quite believe it! The Cramps started easing on Tuesday now they are completely gone. I still can't get over how exactly they were like AF pains - same severe intensity.

My clinic doesn't do betas unless there is something to worry about. I'm booked in for 7 week scan in January - can't wait for that but I'll be nervous about it. Lines are continuing to get darker on my internet cheapie tests.

On Tuesday I'm gonna do another digi - I'm hoping it will show 3+

No symptoms at this point - feel totally normal. I keep waking up MAD early - more with excitement than anything else.

Will update on Tuesday.

Evening test

9dp5dt BFP

Got a BFP today - wtf?!?!??!?!

I was SURE it was all over. Really feel like AF is on way.

I can't get excited because of the cramps!!!!

I literally never had a bfp before....never!

8dp5dt

I haven't had a great few days. Cramps got a lot stronger throughout the week. I know in my heart it hasn't worked. I test 6dp5dt (sneaky test) - BFN (prob too early anyway).

On Thursday (7days) I went to clinic for Intralipids. The nurse there couldn't get a vein so I ended up having to come into clinic this morning to see doc. I was a wreck, very emotional. I told him I'm sure it hadn't worked as I've been having bad cramps and I asked him did he think I should even bother with the intralipids. He was great - really listened and didn't patronise me. He told me I prob was right that it didn't work as I know my own body. But he recommended getting the intralipds just in case I was wrong. He got the IV set up in seconds (painlessly).

He gave me cyclogest to take up to official test date. I've to switch from crinone. He said that if it didn't work, we'd throw everything at the next cycle. He was so positive, I actually felt better. I 99.9% for sure know that AF is on the way. I'll take the cyclogest anyway to cover all bases. He also said if it didn't work, I could get going on FET#2 asap. So basically prep in Jan and transfer early Feb. (I'll be 30 in Feb).

I'm determined now to have a great Christmas - I'm determined that this will be our last Christmas as a twosome. Either we'll have a "plus one" on our arms or on route next xmas.

Again I am not gonna wish away the weeks. I would really like to have a plan in place before the xmas break so to know that we have something to look forward to in the New Year.

5dp5dt

Cramps - Lwr back pain - Bloating - AF Symtpoms - Heart Palpitations

3dp5dt

Very Crampy - just took paracetamol.

Lower back pain.

I'm hating this 2ww :(

Dull Achiness

That's what I've been feeling all morning. Dunno if it's a good thing or bad thing...

Edited to add: It's really a crampy, heavy feeling. Why so early? Why at 2dp5dt?

Time will tell, I suppose.

Transfer

Well, I had the transfer done yesterday. All went well, two of the embryos survived the thaw and the transfer went very smoothly. I'm just taking it easy now - had a good night sleep last night and and chilling out on the couch. (Getting a bit bored though!)

It feels surreal - almost like it never happened.

Anyway my OTD is the 14th of Dec - so my plan is to hold out until then. Last time I tortured myself. I am also gonna stay away from the internet and I google EVERYTHING last time.

Fingers-crossed....

Crinone!

I had final scan yesterday morning. Lining looked good - 10.5mm

I started the progesterone suppositories today - urrrgh, hate them.

I've to continue on all the meds except the nasal spray.

On the road

Haven't posted in a while. Everything ticking over at the moment.

I went in for a scan on Monday - all was good. Started Clexane injections, steroids, aspirin, folic acid, B vits the next day. Decreased nasal spray to 1 sniff, three times a day.So far so good.

Booked in for a scan next Tuesday. Intralipids booked for Thursday (1 week before transfer).

Really trying hard not to think ahead too much...so hard not too.

CD1

AF arrived this morning. Killing me with cramps but delighted to be starting a new cycle. I've to call clinic today and make an appointment for a scan tomorrow - hopefully if all goes well, I'll start on BCP and get a schedule for FET.

Results

Well got the call from the clinic today!

11 embies made it to blast! Cannot actually believe it!

Such a weight lifted!!!

OHSS

Was suffering from OHSS the past few days - nasty stuff. Starting to feel better now!

Tomorrow I will get a call from clinic about how many embies made it to blast....getting nervous now.

Fertilisation!

Well out of 28 eggs, 19 were mature and 15 fertilised!

The clinic said they will freeze the embryos that make it to day 5 (Blasts), so should get a call next Tue/Wed!

In for a scan tomorrow morning so hopefully I should have an outline of how the FET will work!

Egg Collection

Well Egg Collection went ahead today. Got EXTRA sedation which was great! Can't believe it but they got 28 eggs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MAD!!!!!!

Unfortunately this means they have to do an elective freeze and do a FET next month. The doc said they have a cut off at 20 eggs and would never put embryos back in at the risk of developing OHSS.

So I am delighted that things went well. Would love to do transfer next week but have to trust the professionals here! At least I will have a good few weeks to chill and relax and prepare for transfer!

Tomorrow the embryologist will call with the number of fertilised eggs!

Intralipids

Had Intralipids infusion today - took 3 hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Think the main aim is to suppress immune system so that when the embryos are transfered, my body will not attack them.

CD5

Another scan today - doc was pleased with progress. Think I have a few follicles around the 10mm mark. He said all the follicles are roughly the same size which is a good sign.

I have to start orgalutran injections tomorrow morning to prevent ovulation. Back in for another scan on Friday and Intralipid infusion to suppress immune system.

I think the steroids are seriously affecting my sleep - haven't slept well these past few days. Not sure if it is stress from work or the steroids.

The nurse was talking about possible Egg collection next Wednesday - this all sounds too good to be true! The short protocol is definitely much quicker.

Let the fun begin

Had scan yesterday and started the injections last night. I'm on Puregon, Claxane, Steroids, Aspirin, Folic Acid, B Vits and Metformin....so far!!!!!!!!

Feel WRECKED today though :(

CD1

Rang the clinic today to tell him I am on CD1. I have to go in for a scan tomorrow (eeeeeww) with Hubby!

If all goes well, I'll begin injections tomorrow!

Round 2...Ding Ding

Well, it's been a mad few months - lots going on!!

I will be starting IVF#2 in the next few days - just waiting on AF to arrive.

• I am more nervous this time.
• I am going to keep a lower profile in the real world - just wanna go under the radar this time.
• I am soooooooooo scared about it not working - so I am just not thinking beyond each day.

This time I will be on much more medication to counteract AI issues - Heparin, Steroids, High strength folic acid, Vit B and lots more. I will be receiving Intra-lipids before and after transfer.

Fingers crossed..............

Onwards and Upwards!

Well a definite BFN for me. I stopped all meds on Wednesday after ringing the clinic. (Great to stop the Crinone!)

We have a review appointment at the end of the month. So hopefully we'll get some answers (if there are any!) and get to plan the next cycle. It will prob be in September I'd say.

I'm over the initial upset and feeling A LOT better. Planning lots of things to do over the summer so looking forward to that.

8dp5dt - BFN

BFN today - we feel devastated at the mo :(

4dp5dt

Cramps, cramps, cramps!!!!!!!!!! URRRGGGGH

Came home and cried thinking its all over. But looked up 4dp5dt + cramping and read lots of positive stories so feeling a bit better now.

3dp5dt

Symptoms (if any):

• I have a dull achiness - quite period-like that is there all day.
• Some strange stitch like pains - very mild though.

That's it for the mo!

Transfer

The transfer went well on Saturday - can't believe I'm 2 days past it already. 2 blasts were transferred. Just resting up big time. Feel ALOT better than I did last week. I'm just praying it will work!!!

Scan

All went well with scan today - no extra fluid floating about anywhere! So the transfer will go ahead on Saturday. The clinic will ring me tomorrow with a time. I'm not feeling the best at the mo - so resting up big time! I really underestimated how hard this would be! If this works, I am gonna count my blessings and don't think I will go through it again. (I may change my mind, but that is how I feel right now!)

Pray for me!

Egg Collection

Well I had Egg Collection on Monday - we got 8 eggs!!! I was worried we wouldn't get any!

Of the 8 eggs, 6 were mature and 6 have fertilized. So the plan is for the transfer to go ahead on Saturday (Day 5). So exciting!!

I'm in for a scan on Thursday - hope everything goes well!

Going ahead!

Doctor rang this evening to say that my e2 levels have dropped again and that we will go ahead with trigger tomorrow. So egg collection on Monday. Although she did say that we won't know about eggs until collection. They could be compromised due to hormones being so high.

One step at a time!

Levels dropping

My E2 levels have dropped today - so back in for another blood test tomorrow morning. Fingers-crossed they will drop further!

E2 Levels

I had another scan and blood test today. The scan went well, all positive. However my E2 levels are still rising. So I am back in tomorrow for another blood test. Please, please please may they start to drop!!!

Am actually not feeling very well - constantly feel sick - so looks like I am in the early stages of OHSS.

Trying my best to drink LOTS of water.

Coasting!

Well on Friday, I was a "slow responder" and today I need to "Coast" due to too many follicles! High risk of OHSS at the mo.

Talk about roller coaster of emotions :(

There is a possibility of cancelling the cycle so have to stop all injections and return for a scan on Wednesday. If egg collections does go ahead, I'll have to freeze the embryos and to the transfer the following month when everything settles down.

At the mo, I just hope I get to Egg Collection. I can handle doing a FET next month, but don't think I can handle cancelling...feeling down right now.

2nd & 3rd Scan

Well I had my second scan on Saturday. The nurse said that there wasn't much change. So the Puregon was increased from 150 to 225.

I had the third scan this morning - the doctor said that the follicles were growing nicely - the largest one was 8mm. He said that they were all about the same size which was good. Got a call from the clinic just there and they said to increase the Puregon to 300. Getting a tad nervous now!!!

Today in work, I felt really bloated - the meds are defo working!

Major tiredness at the mo .....zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Hmmm...

Since last night I have been bleeding a bit (TMI)!

I rang clinic this morning and the nurse said that it is totally normal and not to worry- maybe a bit of fluid just coming out. I'm in for a scan tomorrow morning so maybe they can shed more light on it. Lower abdomen feels quite tingly at the moment and a little crampy. The nurse said this is a good sign. She said that PCO can go one way or the other: either respond really quickly or really slowly. She reckons I'm responding quickly.

Oooo can't wait for scan tomorrow - I need another update!

Injections

Well, I started the injections last night. DH was brilliant - he did them for me thank God. I have to say I was surprised at how nervous I got just before he did them. I even began laughing hysterically with nerves!!! Anyway, they were fine!

I had a nice bath after and just chilled out. But about an hour later, I got a wave of unbelievable tiredness and just collapsed into bed. Even this morning, I was wrecked. Came home from work and slept for 2 hours. I wonder is this the injections??

Metformin is going well. I really thought that I might be feeling ill from them today but nope, so far so good.

First Scan

Well I had the first scan today -all was quiet on the western front as they say. Everything had down regulated, thank God. I was starting to worry that maybe things would not quieten down...but they did.

Nurse showed us how to do the injections - not as daunting as I had thought. I start tomorrow on them.

I'll also start aspirin and Metformin (850mg) tomorrow too. I've to reduce the nasal spray to one sniff three times a day.

Next scan is on Saturday - because I have PCO, doc wants to keep a close eye!

I feel great now we are finally starting!

Healthy eating: Not good today...fresh start tomorrow!

Comfort Eating!

Wow - where on earth has this comfort eating come out of? I'm beginning to think I have a problem. I alway thought my sweet tooth came from just loving sweet things. But now I definitely think the anxiety of doing ivf has lead me to comfort eat over the past couple of months. I actually sickened myself today. I ate healthily up to 6pm and then BAM....biscuit after biscuit in a friends house. Then when I got home...more chocolate. Why?????? I actually woke up tonight to use the bathroom, and couldn't get back to sleep worrying about the weight I feel has crept on around my waist. So here I am up outta bed writing on this blog! I just couldn't get back to sleep!

So I suppose I'm making a pledge to the world that I will eat healthily and exercise from now on. Binging on wasteful, fattie, sweet food over! This time next week, I promise to write an uplifting post about how I had a great week food-wise, about how many fresh air walks I went on and how pleased I am with myself for making a plan and sticking to it.

Ivf-Journey update: AF is starting tonight - feel a little crampy but not too bad. Down-reg scan is on Tuesday next. Nasal spray going fine. I need to go through all the consent forms with DH. Some big issues to decide on regarding "ethical" issues about embryo storage etc.

Gonna make out a fitness/eating plan for the week now and then go back to bed. Tomorrow is Friday Thank God!

Last day on BCP

Yayyyyyyyyy!

Finally took last pill today - AF should arrive next 2 - 3 days.

So the next milestone is the down reg scan next Tuesday.

Just taking each step as it comes.

Time to get serious about eating healthy though- (totally pigged out at the weekend!!).

The clinic recommend that I drink 1.5 litres of water throughout cycle - so gonna start that today.

Finally feel like things are starting to move.

I have to take my last birth control pill tomorrow! can't wait -- just hate being on the pill!

Nasal spray still going grand - I'm surprised I have remembered to take it the whole time!

Told MIL all all about the treatment we are embarking in - she was really positive (i knew she would be anyway).

Sniffer

Started sniffer this morning. So far so good- just hope I can remember to take it when I have to.

I wonder will there be any side effects?

Heading away with DH to his hometown for the weekend - really, really do not want to meet any pregnant people up there.

Panic!

Had a bit of a mini-meltdown earlier! It sounds silly but what if it works? I won't be able to believe it - I won't be able to relax. I feel like I will not be able to emotionally handle it. Why???? Because how will my body know what to do? It has never been pregnant before - what if it actually does not know what to do?????????????????

Irrational I know....

Cilest

On cilest at the mo until the 4th of May. I've been pretty much spotting the whole time - not in a major way but just notice a bit there each day. Anyway can't wait to come off this!

Control!

Decided to take proper control of my weight today! I'm about 7/8 pound over my "happy" weight. Even though in a way I keep thinking 'what's the point in trying to get slim if the IVF works in 6 weeks time?'. But what if it doesn't work? I'll be left feeling like total crap not only because it hasn't worked, but I will look like a lump too!

Don't get me wrong, I am not overweight - but a half stone over my usual weight just isn't good - all my clothes are bursting at seams. So pigging out has stopped today - I ate healthily all day and managed to get out for a good brisk walk in the fresh air. Yay me! I wish weightloss and toning up was instant though!

First Post

Well this is my first official post - wuhooooo!

I've set up this blog today to detail my journey through IVF/ICSI.

Bit of background info - I'm married about a year and a half to an amazing DH. Started trying immediately after wedding...no joy. After about 10/11 months got some tests done. Turn out I have Polycystic Ovaries (although not the syndrome). And DH has good count but low motility and morphology. Our clinic recommended ICSI. Major shock to system for both of of us!!!

Anyway, long story short - we are starting our IVF journey on May 2010. I started on the pill (weird) about 2 weeks ago. Sniffer to begin in 8 days.

I am generally a very positive person and am hoping this attempt will work but I am building myself up to accept that IVF is a course of treatment and it may not work first time.

Trying to take each day as it comes. If anyone wants to share this journey with me, leave me comments, emails whatever - the more support the better I say!!!

Feel in major limbo at the moment though - I just want to get started ion the serious meds!! I actually picked them up the other day - scary. So much!!