Thanks for all the lovely comments and support. It's crappy but life goes on eh?
So heres my next plan :
1. I'm not gonna do another FET this side of Xmas. I want to enjoy Christmas with my family and friends.
2. I have just joined a 6 week program in my local gym. Aim: to lose 10 lbs and tone up: I wanna look fabulous for the Christmas party in work and generally feel good about my body again.
3. I have arranged a phone consultation with my RE for Tuesday. I'm gonna explain to her that we are taking a good break, maybe 4 to 6 months off. But since immune problems have been identified, I would like a prescription for the immune drugs (steroids), also aspirin, high strength folic acid, metformin, eltroxin (for thyroid) and possibly the clexane. Even though I have PCO, I do ovulate every month and DH has a good sperm count but slightly below motility & morphology. So in theory we should still have a chance to conceive naturally with this extra support.
4. My aim is to enjoy sex again like the good old days pre-TTC. Obviously around ovulation time, we'll go the extra mile so to speak.
5. I'm not gonna have a breakdown every time AF arrives, I'll be expecting it each month.
6. On a side note: since May 2010, I've either been on bcp, stims, down regulating, pregnant, miscarrying, on HRT, progesterone....my body is telling me ENOUGH for now....ENOUGH. IVF is a long hard road and I've reached the end for now. Time to recuperate and regain strength.
I'll keep on blogging, following all your stories but with less intensity. I think I need to just refocus on other things for a while. DH and I just shared our three year anniversary on Tuesday and you know what? Every month since we got married we have been focused on TTC.
Time for a break, me thinks!