Saturday, September 17, 2011

Dates

Well I have all my dates arranged for upcoming FET. The transfer will take place on the 17th of October. A month away - here we go again!!

The nurse in the clinic asked me to get my TSH levels checked. Mine was 3.97. Apparently this is in the normal range of thyroid function but for pregnancy, the clinic would like it to be closer to 2. So I am on Eltroxin to lower the levels. Could this be the reason for my miscarriage or the reason why we haven't conceived naturally? Who knows.

How am I feeling? Usual feelings of nervousness/hope/fear. Very detached really. I don't want to talk about it in real life because I've done this before, I've talked about the upcoming dates, treatment, every detail and always it has ended in heartbreak. However  I know this one could work out if it works but still I've lost my innocence in this area.

When I went to the clinic last Monday morning for my TSH blood test, for some reason the nurses never called me. Time was ticking by, I was late for work, other clients were coming and going and yet no one was calling me for my blood test. I don't know what happened to me, but I started to get really upset---like fighting back the tears, a lump in my throat. I couldn't summon up the courage to ask the nurses when they were going to call me. I wanted to storm out, but I couldn't. Eventually after a self pep-talk, I decided to walk out. However, as I walked by the nurses' station, I saw two nurses sitting down. I said "sorry but I've been waiting for someone to call me for a blood test for an hour". One of them jumped up, all apologetic and took me in to another room to do the blood test. By this stage I could not even talk, just trying to not cry. Nightmare. Seriously what was up with that??? I think all the emotion of the past few months and tied into the clinic, sitting in the waiting room was just too much. Anyway...I felt better later on.

Will update again soon. :)

3 comments:

  1. I know its hard when you've done this before...I admire your strength and courage and I am really pulling for you. I look forward to reading the updates! October 17th is going to come SO fast!

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  2. Wishing you the best of luck with your FET. I have had the thyroid issue too and am grateful it's been so easy to control with medication. Sorry for the nightmare in your doctor's office...I can totally understand feeling the way you were felling...

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  3. And, again, I am here to cheer you on as best I can with your upcoming FET. I'm sorry for the near emotional breakdown at the clinic. You've been through so much that things just just go smoothly for you. You deserve at least that! October 17th is going to be a good day. :)

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