Every time I meet with a friend or talk to a friend on the phone, I just break down. After a few minutes, I start to feel a little better.
Yesterday I spent the whole day on my own and basically cried all day. When DH came home, I started to feel better.
Today I met my best friend. Initially I again broke down, but then we talked. We talked about the next coming few months. She thinks we should take time out, plan nice things to do, enjoy being married. On one hand I'd love to do that but on the other, I think I'd like to keep moving. We have 4 frozen embryos left and could push forward with another FET.
Anyway we are not going to make any decisions just yet, but it's nice to explore options.
Tomorrow I am going to meet with a counsellor. She works in the fertility clinic so is an expert in that area. I would like to work on why I put myself under so much pressure. Like I feel a sense of panic to have a baby. I am 30, so I have time I suppose, but I really thought I'd be having my second child by now. I'm also dreading more pregnancy announcements...dreading them.
I'm also meeting three work pals tomorrow so hopefully will be a good distraction.
Sigh....
I'd definitely not do another FET until you're feeling a bit more yourself. Can you take some time off and go on holiday with your hubs, and just enjoy yourself for a couple of weeks?
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss. Take the time you need to grieve and process, only you will know when it is right to move forward. Sending you ((hugs))
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